The New Winds

Saburo had received a somewhat unexpected note requesting that he come to the warehouse that had been used for training the other day. When he entered into it, he was ... a little surprised to find that everything was laid out once again as it had been. The room was gloomy with only a candle offering enough light to approach. There was, unlike last time, only a single pair of mats that sat on either side of the mat. Silencing any curiosity or concern, he went to one of the mats and sat himself down in a lotus position, allowing himself a cleansing breath or two.

The one who had sent the message would be along shortly, he was certain. The servant had been clear it had been one of the sensei, but not which one. Peasants didn't always know their names, and that one had just been a boy.

"Ah, you are early. I had expected you might be."

Asako Himeya walks in and gives a short bow.

"Asako-san, there is something I wish to speak with you about."

Himeya? Well, admittedly they were kin distantly through the clan, but he hadn't expected to actually speak with her at any real length before the end. She hadn't been overly impressed by his performances the last few times, though she hadn't been unimpressed. He returned the bow low and waited for the woman to take her seat.

"Of course, Asako-sama. I have a few more preparations for the final sessions I was informed we would participate in this evening, but they won't take long. What did you wish to speak about?" He was, admittedly, a tiny bit nervous.

"I have been watching you closely during your time here, Asako-san. I believe you may be gifted in a very special way."

He reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. There was an uncomfortable air and his on slipped a little. "Asako-sama... please... Is this about the standings, or something else?" Please, kami, let it be something else. Anything else. The last thing he wanted to talk about was that blasted leaderboard that had the peasants nattering about he and the Miya over and over again. It was maddening, and it was increasing attention that as of two days ago had suddenly become hellishly uncomfortable when he was around a certain Falcon.

"In a sense, both. I believe you are gifted in a way none other here are."

She comes next to him and sits, placing her hands on her lap.

"I did not come for their praise," he finally said with a faint bit of exasperation. "I have always been competing with my own body, its limitations and deficiencies. Ever since the physicians said I would not see my gempukku. I didn't come to this place expecting this, and the attention is ... an uncomfortable thing for me." He found he envied Otoko, Sasaiko and the others in the middle of the pack at times. They would gain from all of this training and the results would be seen, but eyes were on them less.

A sigh, and he closed his eyes. "But we are here to speak of this other thing, not the standings, yes sensei?"

She frowns a little at the attitude.

"We are, but first, we need to address your actions just now, Asako-san. Why did you feel the need to lash out?"

He frowned and closed his eyes. How to put... How to put... "I apologize, Asako-sama. I struggle with others' attention. Other's eyes on me at times. With their expectations of me. When I was born, something happened. My grandmother came to witness my coming into this world, but her blessings were not a healthy one, as were my own parents, and she was returned to Gaki-Do to finish Emma-O's sentence. I have never faulted her, but ... my body has always been frail since that time." He sighed.

"I have spent twelve years, since I was a very small child, fighting. Being told what was expected of me by physician after physician, told that I would not see this day, nor would I see my gempukku. My parents did not send me to the academies of the Isawa, but called a private tutor with many costly favors, favors I am well aware of, but they did so against the doctor's recommendations. So... every time, I struggle with expectations of others, because I already know the ones I have of myself."

Which, coincidentally, might have explained why he was kind of a problem child when it came to their meditation lesson. Emptying his mind was a battle, even now when he knew how.

She listens carefully, and then nods once.

"When you find your body betrays you, what do you do to overcome? What do you reach for?"

"Until recently? Exercise. Aggressive, repeated exercise until I could not go on. In my youngest years, it was barely anything, but I would fight my body and my frequent illnesses physically. When the sensei would come, study of the elements, regular practice in the prayers. They praised my skill in building my Fire to the point where they felt it was competent, but they were concerned I was becoming unbalanced towards it, and that my Earth and Water suffered." Her frowned. "In coming here, I attempted to mix the ways of court, to soften my training, and it ... helped. Almost like my body needed to relax, but I could never meditate properly until you taught me how to let go."

A shake of his head. "I think... I am holding onto too much."

"And now that you find yourself more balanced and able to let go more, what do you feel as a pull on you?"

"Habit... demands I continue to train, to better myself.... but it does not pull at me so. I feel, honestly? Healthy. Healthier than I've ever felt. Like a weight has finally lifted. I do not exactly feel strong, but I feel as if I could return home safely." But he closed his eyes and frowned again. There was something... well, a few somethings. Topaz pulled at him, glimmering like a demand in the distance, but he wondered at it at times. Was that spotlight a thing he truly yearned for? A week of this, of learning how to navigate the world of his elders and he wanted to crawl back into the shadows of a library. A certain falcon pulled, but he could measure that. It could be handled properly. Time could be taken, to make sure they weren't being dumb kids.

There was something. he kept reaching for it, but it ... "I don't know what it is, but there is something in there, sensei. It's felt... like it was there for the last few days, something different but I can't put it into words."

“I see. Do you find it easier to come to a centered place now, or is it still difficult? Or perhaps do you feel some sense of...wholeness?”

"I have to remind myself each time, and sometimes I have to actually go through each item I'm holding onto to get there, but it's easier now that I do it at all." A nod of the head. "When I get to that point, I feel the refreshing sensation of being renewed and relaxing yes. But there is a ... I feel better when I am meditating? Like when I was in the dark alone, I felt whole and complete, which is what I thought was supposed to happen. She had us center each of our chi's after all, did she not?"

He frowned, and then his mind hit on it. "Do you mean the Void itself?"

“Perhaps, though it may just be you finding center as others do. Come, let us try an experiment. Do as I do”

She stands and raises a hand in front of her, closing her eyes and points her open palm at the wall, murmuring under her breath, but loud enough for Saburo to follow along

((Please cast the following:

DRAWING THE VOID c Ring/Mastery: Void 1 c Range: Personal c Area of Effect: Self c Duration: Instantaneous c Raises: Special (+1 Void Point gained per three Raises)
The ability to reach into the Void itself and gain strength from it is a vital lesson in the training of all ishiken. Upon completion of this spell, you gain a number of additional Void Points equal to your School Rank plus one. If these Void Points take you above the number you may normally possess, then you lose one of the extra Void Points every Round that you do not spend one.

))

He treated this as he would any other prayer. He had a suspicion that he was drawing upon some other source, praying for the guidance of something but he emptied his mind with a cleaning breath and performed exactly the actions, whispered the precise same words in the fashion that she had shown him. And when he did, no kami answered. None answered, of course, because there were no kami of the void. There was only the wellspring of eternity that bound all things to themselves and each other.

As he touched, it was like touching the lip o water and feeling the ripples, and when he did he felt... refreshed. He blinked, looking at his hand and then at her. "What just happened? Was that supposed to happen? I'm not sure if I did something wrong."

(OOC: +2 Void Points, ironically meaningless unless something comes up later this evening, haha.)

“Explain what you felt.”

The woman places her hands at her sides and watches Saburo inquisitively

"I don't know how to put this quite right, but it kind of felt like I heard a drop of water making a ripple in a soundless room, and when it did... I felt better. Like I had slept for a few hours, managed to relax and was ready for the day again?" Yes, that was the best way to put it. "It is like when I've meditated, but that takes an hour. It takes time for that to happen."

“And this refreshment, does it feel like it would allow you to push yourself harder than you normally would be able to? As if you could draw on something, not related to the kami, and gain some insight or strength?”